2014: The Crossroads

2014 has been a very trying year for me. I lost three friends in the span of three months, and I often found myself arguing with people I didn’t want to get into arguments with. Old skeletons were once again dragged out of the closet for no apparent reason. I’ve retreated into the Internet and gaming because I can escape all of those things there. I don’t know why, but I feel better somewhat. It shouldn’t have to be that way. I should feel welcome in real life, but that’s something I’ve been pursuing for years, and it continues to evade me.

It’s kind of funny how random people from the Internet can come to your rescue. I never have had that kind of thing ever happen to me. My mom always told me (yes, even after I became an adult) that the Internet was a place for pedophiles and convicts. Granted there are trolls everywhere, but you start digging through the bullshit and you find people who are just trying to get by in life and enjoy themselves, much like I am right now. I’ve met some very wonderful people through the Internet.

Although they are not things I am entitled to and I acknowledge them as such, I should have had a job and friends and family to support me. With a full-time job, I gain my freedom. I would never willfully associate with the people who call themselves “family” once I had a real job. I know some of them are reading this and if you are, you should know why. Instead, I got half of what I wished for: a job (although it’s part-time), and I’ve made new friends, but my family, I feel they came up substantially short this year. I lost some of the most supportive family members over the past 2-3 years, those who would actually go out of their way to help people. Instead, I’m left with the ones who could care less, and it’s a shame because my grandmother, who died when I was 17, wouldn’t let any of these people get away with it.

What went wrong in 2014? I’d say the erosion of my support system really showed itself. There were cracks in the building already for a while. Like a garment factory in Bangladesh, it collapsed on itself. I guess my own poor maintenance of the building somewhat contributed to it. I fought with people I previously had good relationships with, and I expect a lot more of that going forward into 2015. Why do I expect it? There’s actually one very good reason: someone I was wary of trusting has started to help me. What are his motives? I don’t even know, but I had no choice but to accept his help. I then began to evaluate all my other friendships because of this (and even some family ties). I will shoot in the gym with you if you need support. I just need to have some assurance that you will also do the same.

Some people would say that the whole retreating into video games and what not is bad for me and that I have issues as a result. Guess what, everyone has issues. This is the way I deal with them. I’m not dead or in jail yet, so I think it’s working. My cousin does drugs on a regular basis and gets paid for it (I’m very serious, she does) in the form of her mom giving her money every month. She has a 10 year old special needs son who I love to death and I want to get him out of that situation, but I need to fix my own first.

I do what I can in my part-time job; I try to ask for as much work as possible so I can make money to buy the things I need, and of course, the things I want. I’m actually not a very selfish person, although my family and certain people have always painted me as a selfish person no matter what I say or do. How is it, all of a sudden, that I’m the selfish one when I ask for help once? I’ve never turned someone down when they asked for my help; I’ve either given them advice or put them in touch with people who could help. I’ve always done my part to make the world a better place. For “family” not to do it in the one month of the year where being a jerk is highly discouraged (Christmas season), it makes me angry and pissed off.

All in all, 2014 sucked. End of story. It was easily the worst year since 2005 (which was all sorts of terrible due to peers AND teachers giving me crap). I did get to add two new countries to my travels (ironically, in 2005 I also added two new countries to my travels, what a coincidence), but the year seemed to go nothing but downhill after that (with a short spike in July when I did get my job). I only hope 2015 offers better.

P.S. To those of you calling yourselves “family”, re-evaluate who you are as a person. I shouldn’t have to ask the dad of someone I never got along with (and I imagine I still won’t get along with them if we ever met again). Make that your New Year’s Resolution, which you will eventually break in two weeks anyway out of your inability to be a good person.

State of the AWP Address #1: I’ve been a douche.

Dear friends (and even enemies because I know you read this),

Over the course of the past few weeks I have been acting out of character, saying things and doing things that I would not usually do. Knowing this, I take full responsibility for the consequences of my actions. I am simply a man who has made mistakes and would like to make reparations for them. I have been trying to reach the parties concerned and I hope that I can resolve these conflicts in a mature, adult-like manner.

I have not been public about it because I do not want to be the center of some drama whirlwind, but after reflecting on my actions, I feel that telling you, my friends, is the best course of action. I am not asking for anyone’s pity, but rather, I feel like being honest with you all about what is really going on with me is not only beneficial to myself, but to everyone else around me.

Although I am not in the position to ask for any of the affected parties’ forgiveness nor deserve it, I want to state that I never intended to hurt any of these people through my actions, and that I have tried to make amends for what I have done as quickly as possible. I have sincerely and deeply cared about all the people I have hurt or offended because of my poor judgment and actions that have resulted from such. We all make mistakes, however, to own up to mistakes that we have made is the sign of true maturity and a testament to our character.

For the past several years I have avoided going to psychological therapy because I thought that was a chapter I could put behind me, and that I could pretty much put myself above that. However, I was wrong, and of course, I learned that the hard way. Since going to therapy costs money (I actually wanted to resume psychological therapy in 2011 when I left college), I have not been able to do so, relying instead on you, my friends, to carry me through the harder times in my life. For that, I am grateful to those who have stayed loyal throughout the years. For those of you who have just met me recently, I am sorry you have to see me say something like this, and I hope this does not change your opinion about me, and I only want to get to know you better.

I am about to enter my 26th year of being on the planet Earth on the 20th of this month. I have become a lot more cynical and jaded over the years because of certain events during my adolescence that made me more distrusting of authority and people in general. I have recently reflected on my actions, and I would like to reverse this vicious cycle once and for all. I do not want to hate anyone, nor have bad blood with anyone—I just want to be seen as a person who always looked out for his friends as best as he could and provide them with at least the moral support to get through all the challenges we face in life.

I have held many grudges in the past and would like to let them go, but I think this can only be accomplished by everyone’s willingness to talk things over. If you are one of those people who have known me from that period (2003-2006), let’s talk. The door has always been open for you to talk to me, but I’ve always felt like the reverse has not been the same—maybe it was my own unwillingness to say something, or something that I have said before. I could blame having a medical condition, I could blame my grandmother dying, I could do all of those things, but in the end, the only person I had to blame is myself and how I reacted to those events.

Although I have always slammed Wood Rose Preparatory School and certain people who went there, sometimes very publicly, I’d like to believe that the people there are all good people who were just growing up. Our reasons for growing up and our methods of growing up were far different, but in the end, the goal was the same, to become better people. I have previously said I would not attend any reunion, but I am changing my mind about that, and if possible, I want to actually host a reunion—that is, if you’ll let me back into your lives.

The reason there is conflict in the world is because people are only willing to cut each other off rather than to connect with each other and establish a greater understanding. Sure, people make mistakes and screw up, but I believe strongly in giving people second chances—third ones, fourth ones even, something I was previously not open to doing until a few years ago. I once watched this documentary about this woman forgiving the Nazis for killing off practically her entire family. I was thinking that if this woman can do it, why not the rest of us?

A friend of mine who is getting married next year helped me rediscover the joy of living after I thought it was gone. Mike, I know we don’t talk often and we’re each busy with our own thing, but you pretty much played a huge part in helping me turn my own life around. I am really looking forward to attending your wedding—I made it a personal goal of mine to save up for the trip (it’s also a new country for me, so I can maybe get my passport filled up before the July 2016 expiration date, lol). You made a great choice. Laura is one of the nicest people I know, and I want to be there when you tie the knot, and share your special day with you.

Some of you may have heard me say things like “I rarely apologize” and “I rarely forgive.” I have been trying to put that kind of mentality behind me, and it is difficult for me (or anyone, really) to make such a radical change. I am making that change not only to benefit myself, but to benefit those around me as well. I am not saying this because my religion (Roman Catholicism) tells me I should. I am not doing this because I fear retaliation from any higher power if I don’t. I am doing this because it is the right thing to do in itself.

Nobody forced me to write this, and I am doing it out of my own free will. Writing has been a way for me to cope with certain feelings I might have. It is a very productive outlet for me; it’s been more therapeutic for me than anything else (I’d even say it’s more therapeutic for me than video games, although that in itself is debatable). In fact, I have made it a career—I have been writing for seven years as of August 30, 2014. I especially have to thank people such as Mark, Bryant, Zack, Linda, Harry, and countless others for helping me find my calling in life, and putting me through all the training that was necessary for me to succeed. I originally did it because I wanted people to listen to what I had to say, but I realized that that was the wrong reason. I am now doing it because I enjoy it, and want to help make a positive impact in people’s lives.

I hope that those affected by the actions I have taken due to my poor judgment can at least find it in their hearts to forgive me, or if not, at least establish a dialogue where we can at least talk things over.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope only for the best for all of you.

Jose Alvarez

One time, they cared (A tribute to Robin Williams)

I have a saying, “People don’t care about you until you’re rich, famous, or dead.” I always thought if I could become rich or famous, people would care about what I had to say, which is the entire reason why I took up my major and chose my career. The recent death of Robin Williams made me revisit that quote. Social media exploded that day. It hit me hard because he’s not only one of my favorite actors, but he was a great human being who I would care about, spend time with, and have a conversation with even if he wasn’t rich, famous, or (now) dead.

After watching practically every Robin Williams movie ever made in tribute to his death, I broke down and cried during Patch Adams. Why Patch Adams? While not his best movie (Mrs. Doubtfire takes that spot) it touches on one of the most important things no one cares about—mental health. His character checks himself into a mental institution and finds out that a great way to help others is to become a doctor, using humor as one of the ways to help his patients, caring about them as people as well as caring about them as patients. He brought joy to millions, and it’s unfortunate that he couldn’t bring joy to himself, because the entire world lost a great actor, a great comedian, and a great human being.

I believe humor is a great coping mechanism, and it’s helped me quite a bit when I’ve dealt with my own issues. I’ve had (or for some individuals who will go unnamed, still have) anger management problems. I spent seven years in behavioral therapy and I’m not afraid to talk about it to anyone who asks me about it. I’ve been diagnosed with autism and social anxiety almost 14 years ago and I fought it tooth and nail because I didn’t want it to control my life. I even had the fear that it would be the same thing that could take my life from me—if I wasn’t dead, I’d probably be in some mental institution anyway, and then I’d want to be dead.

Unfortunately, removing the stigma won’t be enough—we all need to speak up for ourselves despite the stigma surrounding mental illness, and people need to be more supportive of those struggling with it every day. This goes for everyone, not just celebrities.

We should strive to be like the Pringles can.

Potato chips are America’s favorite junk food and a very key player as to why so many Americans are obese. They’re quite a delicious snack and often fill the caloric requirements of an average human being at least twice over, while adding unnecessary sodium/fat/calories from fat/saturated fat/trans fat/whatever is unhealthy to the body. One thing that you may have noticed over the years is that potato chip bags are very full of air, which pretty much parallels the current state of humanity:

What you really are vs. what you should really be

Now you might be asking me, “But Jose, what do potato chip bags have to do with any of this?” The answer is simple: people often speak without having much (or anything at all) to contribute, making you wonder why people even open their mouths at all if all they’re just talking for the sake of talking. This is where the saying “they’re full of hot air” comes from. For example, some of the smartest people I know almost never open their mouths, whereas some of the dumbest people I know always have something to say. I’ve always said that there is a reason why the brain is at the top of the head and the mouth is at the bottom. You need to think first, listen and/or see second, and speak last (apply other senses where necessary).

Those of you who went to school with me at Saint Mary’s probably found this best represented in Seminar class. People often bragged about not reading and often bullshitted their way through, fooling most people (and even the professors sometimes) into thinking they had something awesome and worthwhile to say in class, while the keen and observant people in the class really found out that the content of what these people had to say had more holes in it than Swiss cheese and really wasn’t something groundbreaking or awesome, but rather, a waste of everyone’s time.

Saying something doesn’t necessarily mean you’re contributing something, just like being older doesn’t necessarily make you wiser. Ever wonder why people dread reading the comments section of a news article (or in some cases, look forward to it because they want to laugh at stupid people)? Ever wonder why we should think before we speak, or at the very least, Google something if we want to know more about it? The reason is that quite a few of us are the proverbial potato chip bag. We’re only part substance and almost all air, until we fill our minds with knowledge. I’m not excluding myself from the equation, either. We’ve all been the potato chip bag at one point.

The Pringles can represents the truly informed and intelligent human being: it’s almost all substance and virtually no air. The chips come in a cylinder and represent the true amount of chips in the container rather than the fake inflated contents of the potato chip bag. We should all strive to be like the Pringles can: full of substance. So learn from Pringles, and be 100% substance and 0% air.

There are other condiments that go well with french fries.

Everyone seems to only eat french fries with ketchup. Since I’m different (different = weird to quite a few people), I eat fries with everything but ketchup. I’d like to remind the world that there are other condiments in the world that you can dip your french fries in. I’d like to introduce several of my favorite condiments that I dip my french fries in.

Ranch dressing

A lady friend of mine despises ranch dressing and I don’t know why. Ranch dressing is awesome. You can use it for salads, you can use it for buffalo wings, you can use it for chips, pizza, breadsticks, anything really. It’s probably the most versatile condiment not named ketchup or soy sauce. There’s no one good brand of ranch dressing, but Hidden Valley makes some pretty bomb ranch dressing, and I’m sure there’s quite a few lesser known brands that are pretty good too.

Horseradish sauce

This is such an underrated condiment. Personally this is more of a condiment for sandwiches but when you mix and match like I do when it comes to food, it really doesn’t matter. I recommend steak fries and horseradish sauce for the win.

Hot sauce

Another versatile condiment. For you stoners, I tried a hot sauce that ranks pretty high up on the hotness scale (hotter than habanero) and it got rid of a paranoid high, so it serves a double purpose for stoners. Also, it clears the sinuses if you’re having allergies or a cold. I got rid of a cold in ~48 hours just eating all my meals with hot sauce.

Barbecue sauce

Chips, onion rings, and fries. Those are the only three things I’d take with barbecue sauce, but it’s pretty tasty.

Jalapeno cheese dip

Also see: hot sauce for beneficial health effects. You also get cheese, so you can have cheese fries.

Honey mustard

Deli mustard is garbage, yellow mustard is good on hot dogs, and dijon mustard is OK. Honey mustard goes well with fries and chicken fingers.

Sweet and sour sauce

People think sweet and sour sauce is gross and should only be used with Chinese food. But it rocks with fries.

Mayonnaise

Mix with ketchup to make mayonnaise an awesome condiment as opposed to something you only put on sandwiches.

Sriracha

Obvious reasons.

Salsa

I’m not a big fan of salsa but it’s a pretty good condiment to use with fries. Tortilla chips still taste better though.

So there you have it. Ketchup is not the only condiment you can dip your fries in. Have any suggestions? Comment below.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are the unluckiest luckiest team in sports.

The Cavs have won the top pick in the draft again. It seems like David Stern/Adam Silver hasn’t stopped apologizing to Cleveland fans for LeBron James deciding to take his talents to South Beach. Since LeBron’s departure from the Cavs in 2010, they have somehow managed to win three number one draft picks in the NBA lottery, making people wonder whether the whole thing is rigged or if the Cavs have some sort of sorcery going on that makes their teams suck so they can brag about how many number one draft picks they have won. Winning a number one draft pick in professional sports is like giving the worst guy on the team an award, and that award doesn’t really mean anything unless you make the most out of it.

As a whole, Cleveland sports teams tend to suck terribly. The Cleveland Indians won the World Series in 1954, almost 60 years ago, and since then, Cleveland sports teams have amassed a grand total of two championships amongst them. The Cavs (basketball) have zero; the Indians (baseball) have zero; and the Browns (American football) have two (1955 and 1964, but that was the pre-AFL-NFL merger era and before the Super Bowl, and therefore also technically have zero). They don’t know what winning is like, and therefore it’s really easy to feel sorry for fans of Cleveland-based sports teams.

The Cavs have somehow managed to extract six number one draft picks from the NBA, and five of them since 1985 (the NBA draft lottery era) and three of them since LeBron James left in 2010, leading people to believe that there is a conspiracy in the NBA. So what has Cleveland done with their number one draft picks? Let’s take a look.

1971: Austin Carr

Actually not a bad player, and the Cavs were actually good during his time there. 15.4 career points per game (ppg) may seem mediocre and pedestrian by today’s standards, but he played most of his career in the NBA without a three-point line (which would later be adopted in the 1979-80 season). His nickname is Mr. Cavalier, and did a lot to help the Cavs in their early years.

1986: Brad Daugherty

Cleveland traded a 6’9″ power forward/small forward who could also play center (Roy Hinson) and cash to get a draft pick that eventually became the number one draft pick in 1986. They traded a pretty decent player who could play defense, block shots, and grab a fair amount of rebounds for a future NBA star. At first, the Cavs got the better of the deal as Daugherty was averaging close to a double-double every year. Then back injuries happened, Daugherty retired, and Lenny Wilkens (probably the greatest NBA coach of all time not named Phil Jackson) left Cleveland. They stayed decent for a few more years thanks to a great coach (Mike Fratello) and smart management, and they didn’t have a top 10 draft pick.

When they started getting top 10 draft picks again, they used them on Andre Miller (great and underrated); Jamal Crawford (great sixth man, but traded to the Bulls); DeSagana Diop (typical filler center used to eat up six fouls and block an occasional shot, so below average), and Dajuan Wagner (he actually scored 100 points in a high school game and was supposed to be great but his career ended at the mere age of 23 due to injuries and ulcerative colitis). Which brings us to our next one:

2003: LeBron James

No introduction necessary. People were following him in high school so that should give you an idea on how great he was even before he played a single minute in the NBA. Probably the best NBA player right now. The only problem is Cleveland failed to put a great team around him, so he took his talents to South Beach and the rest is history.

2011: Kyrie Irving

The best draft pick this team has had in ages. He has yet to play an 82-game season but averages over 20+ ppg for his career. They need more scoring options so he can get his assists per game up. I hope they either build a team around him or he might go elsewhere to get some championship rings. I’m a big fan of Kyrie Irving and hope for the best for him.

2013: Anthony Bennett

To be fair, we can’t judge him too harshly because he’s only played one year in the NBA. People went apeshit when he had a game where he scored 15 points and 8 rebounds in his 33rd game (almost two-thirds of number one overall NBA draft picks scored in double digits in their first game). He also later got a double-double (19 points, 10 rebounds) but that was about it. He was probably someone’s joke pick in a very deep fantasy basketball league. 52 games, 4.2 ppg and 3 rpg were his final numbers.

2014: TBA

If they pick anyone not named Andrew Wiggins, they should fire the entire management.

Anyways, that’s all I have to say, leave your comments or whatever below.

Mother’s Day (I’m not a day late, I’m 364 days early)

I was going to write something on Mother’s Day itself but time has this weird effect on me, as in a “it’s not tomorrow until I wake up” kind of effect.

Most people don’t really like to admit what’s really going on with them. I’ve never been like that. I’ve always kept it 100 (and most people have issues with keeping it 1). I’ll be honest with you guys, I’ve always had this love-hate relationship with my mom. No relationship is perfect, and if you think it is, you’re living in some fantasy land and this blog post is probably a figment of your imagination.

My mom really hates it when I talk about her on the Internet. But I’ll do it anyway, because I want to tell people how great of a person she is and how big of an influence she’s been in my life. Deep down, I really do love my mom. I love her despite our strong and clashing personalities. I love her despite the fact I sometimes see her as the “enemy” or whatever. Heck, I threatened to deck some kid who talked trash about her. I didn’t care about the consequences either. That’s how much I love her.

We always clashed over the dumbest stuff. It would be extremely easy to blame her because she always taught me to stand up for myself, but I often misinterpreted that as “be a jerk to everyone who doesn’t agree with you.” Mom, one of our arguments was about how I thought there should be public confession (and you argued with me that it should be otherwise). So here’s my public confession. I want to make a public apology for being a bad son. I want to apologize for not living up to your expectations. I want to improve on all those things, and I want to be a better person in your eyes.

I hold the same philosophy with holidays that celebrate certain things. Mother’s Day should be every day. You only have one mother in the world. Of course, some of you may not like your mom, but then again, she’s your mom, and I’ve often spent my time with my mom arguing about some inane bullshit. I’ve caused her unnecessary pain and I want to make up for it. I just never verbalized it until now. It sucks because as a writer, I should be able to find my voice whenever it’s called for, but for some topics I just draw a complete blank or struggle to find the words.

Mom, even Eminem (your favorite artist ever) made a music video (that ironically came out on Mother’s Day) apologizing to his mom after bashing her over the course of several studio albums, some mixtapes, a few collaborations, and a stint in rehab (or almost two full decades):

If Eminem (of all people) wants to have a good relationship with his mom despite the fact that they fought all the time, let it be known that so do I. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you.

Bill Nye should have his own TV channel.

What do Bill Nye and I have in common? We’re both battling idiots for the sole reason that they are polluting society with their views. Recently I saw him on CNN arguing with some lady the Heritage Foundation trotted out onto CNN about climate change. Just a couple months ago, he leveled Ken Ham in a science vs. creationism debate. You’d think they wouldn’t bring idiots to debate someone with a degree in mechanical engineering from Cornell University, right? Carl Sagan (one of the most brilliant minds ever to grace the planet Earth in its entire history) was one of his professors. That should be enough intimidation for idiots to stay away.

Creationists are a special kind of stupid: everyone learns about science in school, but apparently a religious book written almost 2,000 ago is the final authority on science to them. This book was written when almost 100% of people thought you’d fall over the side if you went too far in one direction. People should (hopefully) know what book I’m talking about.

I’m not sure if I’m allowed to post rape videos here, but here’s the extremely controversial footage:

This is the same Bill Nye that we all grew up watching on TV, the same guy who explained scientific facts to kids. Now he has to do the same to adults (or at least people parading themselves as adults, and that’s a whole different beast entirely). We’re talking about people who have some degree of power (or at least enough to get them severely raped on CNN by a scientist, ask Ken Ham) and have probably gone to school. If he can get his point across to people in grade school, how come adults, with their more advanced logical thought and reasoning skills, fail to see his points?

Some network should step up and give Bill Nye his own TV channel so that we can get away from all the stupid bullshit that pervades modern television. It would serve two purposes:

1. There can finally be a real science channel where people can learn about science
2. We can all laugh at stupid people as they attempt to debate scientists on their topic matter

I’d watch that channel and that channel only. It would be the only channel worth watching TV for. You’d watch it too. Bill Nye needs to be on TV more.

Shaq-Fu: A Legend Reborn could save the gaming industry.

Crowdfunding is a good way to bring something to light. Heck, it brought the good version of Apples to Apples, Cards Against Humanity, to the mainstream, and party gatherings are 101% better because of it.

However, there are tons of strange people on the Internet and they basically helped made a sequel to probably the most bizarre game to ever be played by human hands, Shaq-Fu for Super Nintendo/Sega Genesis. The game is called Shaq-Fu: A Legend Reborn. I’m not making this up:

For years, there’s even been a campaign to destroy every copy of Shaq-Fu ever created. That’s how much people hated that game. I owned it for Sega Genesis, and yes, it sucked. I played it once many years later and it still sucked. Imagine what would happen if they made a game starring LeBron James fighting anime tentacle monsters. The concept would never make it to the drawing board unless the developers were crossfaded or twelve years old. Knowing the creativity of today’s game developers, I’d probably welcome a game starring LeBron James fighting anime tentacle monsters more than I’d welcome Call of Duty 37 on the PlayStation 8. Maybe that’s why they decided a sequel to Shaq-Fu was a great idea.

The irony of this all is that Shaq-Fu was created by Electronic Arts. Yep, the same Electronic Arts that won the “Worst Company in America” award by The Consumerist two years in a row. I actually wrote an article about EA last year covering their utter failure to impress me as a gamer and people in general. Playing every non-sports EA game has made me lose more faith in humanity, and my faith in humanity is already pretty low as it is.

Shaq-Fu: A Legend Reborn might be a breath of fresh air for the game industry. Why? Here’s a short list as to why:

1. It’s not made by Electronic Arts
2. See reason 1

If I had money, I’d donate. Crowdfunding is actually a pretty cool idea. You see something you like, you put a bit of money into it and it happens. You essentially get a voice in how the product is made depending on how much you’re willing to invest. Of course, those who put in $1000 will obviously get a lot more than if they put in $10, but that’s the beauty of it all: how much are you willing to sacrifice your hard earned cash to something you love?

You can check out (and donate to) Shaq-Fu: A Legend Reborn here.

A tribute to good teachers (and the bad ones, too).

I have a lot of friends who are now teachers or studying to become teachers. As someone who has had the full mixed bag of teachers ranging from kind and intelligent to cruel and idiotic, I feel that I can put some sort of trust in today’s teachers. Why? They’re taking a rather low salary to help your children grow into adults while people who toss a ball around are handed $10 million a year (in some cases, regardless of skill too, just look at everybody the New York Knicks signed in the mid-2000s). They could have taken some office job that had 9 to 5 hours, is super easy mode, collect their paycheck, and go home and relax.

But no, they chose to help your kids grow, not only as students, but as people (which all good teachers should do). That’s a pretty tough job. You have to not only help kids, but also deal with their parents. Parent-teacher conferences are an adventure in itself (which explains why I got grounded right around that time each year). I can only imagine what my teacher friends have to say after every time they have to meet with little Johnny or little Susie’s mom or dad. Sure, there are good parents out there, but there are also an alarmingly huge amount of bad ones.

Personally, I’d like to thank my past teachers. Mrs. Lovett was easily one of the best teachers I’ve ever had, and sadly, the last good teacher I would have before college. She taught sixth grade. Some kid (who I later found out nobody really liked anyway) bullied me in sixth grade and she kind of made it suck less. Mrs. Lovett was a very sweet old lady who had to retire after that year, sadly, and that kind of sucked because she was one of the few good teachers at that school. She had a banner across the blackboard that read: “Respect is contagious. Give it, get it, got it?” That was a pretty important message to someone in the sixth grade. Nowadays if you’re in sixth grade all people care about is having swag and telling random people in Call of Duty that you banged their mom, which wouldn’t be the case if there were more teachers like Mrs. Lovett, or parents that gave 1/16th of a damn about what their kid was doing.

I also had Mrs. Lem in fourth grade. All I really remember is that we won the fundraising events every year and that I had to get glasses, but she was an amazing teacher. Trips to the upper yard (that had the good swing set instead of that giant slab of concrete with a green wall in the middle) were common. I still keep in touch with her, even though she retired. Facebook did kind of bring us back together. I hope you like the adult I’ve become, Mrs. Lem!

Mrs. Kelley, my second and third grade teacher, basically brought me into the so-called “real world.” I always asked her questions and she’d answer them, and I’d take everything she said to heart. She gave me the most important lesson: “Words hurt more than actions.” I asked her to explain that and she said that after a punch the body would heal, but words could stay for a lifetime. Well, Mrs. Kelley, those words did, and I hope you’re proud of me, haha.

To all the terrible teachers out there: improve, or find a new line of work (heck, that 9-5 office job I mentioned may still be too hard for you if you’re an AP History teacher and didn’t know anything, you know who you are). We’re supposed to make each succeeding generation better, not worse, and teachers play a huge part in that. Thankfully, most of the terrible teachers I had no longer teach (which benefits all of us as a whole) or even work at a retail job, and in that case, karma finally got to them. I had to wait ten years for that, seriously. I had a teacher whose parents kicked the bucket and he basically used me as a punching bag to get out all his angst. I even went to both of his parents’ memorial services and hugged the guy. The dude was half my size too. I could have easily kicked his ass, but thankfully my parents raised me better. I need to thank even the terrible teachers. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have an example on how not to be as an adult (or at least have some pseudo-strawman argument at the ready when people say our education system is super awesome and that there’s nothing wrong with it). So yeah, thank you too, terrible teachers.

Have an awesome (or even terrible) teacher you’d like to thank? Write it in the comments below.